My dear adoring fans, the wench who sometimes gives me food has been a real pain in the ass lately. Something has to be done about this. First of all, my demands for food are getting ignored. WTF, right? Secondly, she keeps telling me I have to “exercise.” What a bunch of B.S.! First of all I am a MAN CAT, not a pussy, secondly I am perfect. And my final complaint, she won’t give me a facebook page so my fans can properly adore me in the right place.
Something has to be done; this abuse cannot go on any longer. I will be taking a napping while you, my beloved public, do something about these atrocities.